I started writing this on 1st April, but decided that was foolish. I hadn’t intended to leave it this long before bursting into print again, but we are just so hectic in this period of splendid isolation. It’s weird how we seem to have so little time now that we have lots of time. Are you finding that?
Don’t you hate jobsworths? Just in case you are not familiar with the term, they are the truly irritating gate guards you find at all sorts of sporting and other occasions who say “I’d love to let you in ‘Guv, but it’s more than my jobs worth”. I reserve a special brand of sarcastic insult for them. But how about the self-righteous, do-gooding, dog in the manger neighbourhood sneak? I’m not sure which one is more worthy of my vitriol. However, when you put the two together there is no torrent of abuse too violent to hurl in their direction. You may gather that I have fallen victim to two such this afternoon. Sadly I can’t go into more detail, but hopefully I have said enough to elicit your deepest sympathy? All that, in conjunction with living with a control freak for whom perfect will never be good enough and you will realise that I really am in need of some TLC! (I’ll be in trouble if she ever reads this!). I reckon an extended period of eschewing laundry, cooking and housework MIGHT register in the distaff brainbox? One of my early bosses in the RAF said “Julian, when you get married be sure and drop two or three plates early on and hopefully you’ll be excused washing up for life”!
I learnt a new word today, listening to the ever educational BBC Radio 4; Arborglyphs. It describes the often ancient art of carving shapes and symbols into the bark of living trees. The presenters were walking amongst the giant oaks of Epping Forest and came across the royal cypher of Tudor times which indicated that particular tree was suitable for felling to build galleons sturdy enough to sort out the invading Spanish….or French, or whoever it was then. Having inquired of Wikipedia, I find there are also dendroglyphs and silvaglyphs. They seem to fall under the same bracket, but I’ve no idea of the differences. If you care enough, the internet will no doubt give up its long hidden treasures. My tooth is now too long to investigate further.
For those who need such information laid before them on a plate, a week today is Good Friday. (That designation has always struck me as odd; why would the day commemorating the assassination of Christ be considered ‘good’? Surely Easter Sunday should be ‘Good Sunday’? No doubt the students of the scriptures amongst you will instantly be able to put me right. Is it something to do with the absolution of our sins? I also need help remembering whether Friday or Sunday is the official end of Lent? This is quite important, because I have successfully negotiated the days and nights in the wilderness (so far) without allowing a drop of the hard stuff to pass my lips and I’m quite keen to try out that delicious vintage Taylor’s that’s lurking in a large decanter behind me. I would hate to break my vow of abstinence two days early, if it should be Easter Sunday. No doubt the situation will be clarified as we near the moment critique.
Meanwhile I am drowning in seas of decaffeinated coffee, herbal tea and……water. It’s been an illuminating experience having H2O with one’s supper. I wish I could report that I feel better for it………
ADayInTheStrifeOf 