It is with much relief that I can report that the recent invasion of my innards by colonoscope has revealed nothing untoward. If you are unfamiliar with the technology, it involves inserting a six foot long flexible pipe the thickness of my forefinger through your anus and all the way along the twisting colon. A camera on the end allows the operative to take a detailed look and grab the odd biopsy for later analysis, while the victim can watch the same tv screen and admire the normally sewer-like passage that has been washed clean by an extremely strong intake of laxatives over the preceding twenty four hours. It’s actually quite riveting and for the most part painless. Every now and then, mainly when they injected air in to inflate the passageway, there was a sharp pain which generally only lasts a few seconds. To assist with the pain relief they give you a pipe to hold, which when placed in your mouth and sucked upon gives you a pleasing flow of “gas and air”, a mixture of oxygen and nitrous oxide gas that makes you light-headed and rather less aware of your surroundings. In fact I suspect it’s like a mild dose of LSD; I was almost hallucinating after a few puffs and couldn’t wait for more!
Alison was quite close to producing our second child when the painometer was rising into the red and she tried the gas and air route. Claiming it was doing nothing, I had a few sucks too and it did nothing for me. Having now experienced what it should be like I can only think that the Royal United Hospital Bath’s supply of Entonox had been exhausted by the previous mother. Alison resorted to something stronger!
I’ve been watching a lot of cricket recently, both Test Match and junior and there’s been a recurring theme in both. Ticker. Heart. Guts. Balls. Call it whatever you like, it basically means do you have the mental and physical courage to stand in the firing line, take the blows when necessary and come out on top? In cricket it’s generally to do with fast bowling. Very few people genuinely like facing very fast bowlers at any level, especially on a bouncy pitch when the ball is doing a bit, but that’s when the ticker comes in. Courage and fearlessness are two very different things. The player who is fearful but still stands there and takes it, is truly brave and greatly deserving of one’s admiration. I watched a fifteen year old this week who is not a great athlete or cricketer, but just loves the game and loves to be deeply involved; a real enthusiast. To reward that he was sent in to bat at Number 5, much higher than his skill merited. He was facing a quick left arm bowler on a “sticky dog” of a wicket; one that’s still damp, where the ball sticks in the pitch, slows quickly but bounces quite high. It’s really hard to time the ball well and there’s a good chance you’re going to “wear” the odd ball as cricketers say. My young friend stood there without flinching, made a few runs and survived for far longer than anyone thought he would. He was roundly applauded when he came in and his smiling face was a heart-warming picture. When congratulated he said “thanks, I didn’t expect to do that”! His team was soundly thrashed but what a memorable little cameo for him and them.
Sometimes one’s ticker and anus can be very closely associated!
ADayInTheStrifeOf 