After a series of tests over the last few weeks, including neck, hand and hip xrays, a back MRI and a colonoscopy, the consultant rheumatologist reckons I have Chronic Pain Syndrome……or Fybromyalgia, or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or some other “algia”. In other words it’s one of those medical mysteries that falls into no known bracket so we give it a fancy title and discharge the patient to a life of painkillers and increasing misery. Hopefully that won’t be my fate. I am banking on The London Clinic of Nutrition to come to my expensive rescue. Having provided a stool sample six weeks ago, which has been off to labs in Germany for dissection and analysis, I now have an incredibly complete report of what’s wrong with my gut. Scientists are only gradually realising the importance of our microbiome or “second brain” as they increasingly consider it. An unhealthy, inflamed gut can lead to all sorts of surprisingly mal effects, including a number of auto-immune diseases. Balance the healthy bacteria and microbes and the results can be miraculous; apparently. I now have six weeks of taking a cocktail of natural pills and potions for four days in seven to get rid of some bad stuff, followed by an alternative regime for the other three to make sure it’s not damaging the good stuff. I’ll let you know!
All the experts I have talked to agree that stress is a major influence in disease and ill-health. Quality sleep, meditation and other relaxation techniques help but I fancy the best tonic would be six months isolated on a tropical island with copious supplies of cocktails, coffee, chocolate and scantily clad maidens whose sole purpose is to ensure your happiness. Oops, not very PC.
Have you spotted the story that scientists at Porton Down (the MOD biological and chemical research centre) have discovered that a chemical in a routine mosquito spray kills the coronavirus? I saw it in yesterday’s Daily Express but haven’t seen it anywhere else. Is it fake news? If not why isn’t it being hailed from the rooftops? It sounds a bit like the old solution to Scottish midges, where, almost by accident they discovered that Avon body lotion rendered human flesh extremely undesirable and sent the nasty little nibblers into a frantic frenzy of confusion. But if you are one of those unlucky people (I am) for whom mozzies and midges consider you lunch, tea and supper the best solution is to emigrate to Iceland.
So that’s it; six months in Iceland, six months on a remote South Sea island. The future is bright.
ADayInTheStrifeOf 