A funny thing happened to me on the way to the shops today. I confess I’ve not always had the most amicable relationship with traffic police and particularly traffic wardens. In days of yore they very wisely wore caps with a yellow band, which was presumably to ensure that you didn’t park on their heads. Perhaps in response to that old joke they now wear fairly nondescript soft blue things that look about as smart as Eeyore. I’m prepared to concede that originally they may have had some role in bringing order to the High Street. Nowadays, I’m convinced they are recruited and paid as unofficial tax collectors whose main purpose is to replenish the ever-diminishing coffers of local government, irritating local traders in the process as would-be customers are frightened off by the patrolling vultures. Anyway, for a change I had parked legally today outside our local grocers and was returning to my French diesel (I know, I’m sorry on both counts) when I spotted not one but two of the jackals. As I passed I duly quipped how good it was to see “not one but two” of them on parade together. I did say it with a smile, but the response surprised me. “We have to”. “Why’s that?” says I. “Because since Lockdown 2 the abuse towards us has gone up 100%”. “Oh dear” I humbly responded, feeling a little embarrassed and shuffled off mumbling an apology and secretly wondering whether more had been recruited or whether that meant they were 50% less effective in terms of windscreen stickers posted.
How many times have you seen a simple invention that solves a problem that has irritated you for ages but you didn’t have the wit to devise the solution yourself? It’s happened to me so often that I can’t believe my stupidity and lack of creativity. A few days ago I spent the afternoon clearing up the profusion of fallen leaves that were littering our garden by a combination of raking and blowing them onto a large sheet and from there onto the tip at the end of the garden. It was quite satisfying to see the end result, but to no one’s surprise the carpet of fallen detritus is again as deep as ever. The longer they stay there the wetter and soggier they get and therefore the harder to move. In the past I’ve used two pieces of plywood and a wheelbarrow which works well enough but is also time consuming and quite back breaking. The Stihl blower is reasonably effortless but you still have to do something with the enormous pile it creates. Surely…….surely there has to be an easier way? I love trees and wouldn’t be without them. The Autumn colours are spectacular and an essential element of our wonderful seasons. But……there has to be a magic wand. Where’s Harry Potter when you need him?! Ideas on postcard please, to Julian Tutt, Number 12 Sycamore Lane, Leafbourne, Sussex.
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