Friday 13th passed without a quake, or even a slight tremor. Phew! I even got a response to my beg for help with leaf clearance from the appropriately named David Mould, or Leaf as he will henceforth be known. I don’t know why that never occurred to me before. Leaf was my Producer on golf for many years and has recently been elevated to the peerage with an excellent and richly deserved promotion to be Director of Television at the European Tour, replacing the self-satisfied Stu Nichol who has returned to America from whence he came, after a hatchet job on a few old farts like me. I seem to remember he was a mate of Trump’s….. but perhaps he just liked talking about him. Broadcasting is a cut throat game and most people suffer the chop at some point, generally when a new producer or editor comes in and they want to make their mark with new people. I reckon I’ve been axed more than most though. Perhaps I just wasn’t very good! I guess I was lucky to survive as long as I did. The icons often go on well into their eighties. Think of so many of the great old names of BBC Sport, the last remaining of whom is Peter Alliss, who could still be heard commentating on The Masters golf highlights at the tender age of eighty nine, albeit with a voice so flaky it was hard to recognise it as him. He would have loved seeing Bernhard Langer finishing in a tie for 29th place and beating his last round partner Bryson DeChambeau in the process. The American, who makes the Incredible Hulk look rather less incredible, had boasted that he would overpower Augusta and bring it to its knees. Langer was often a hundred yards or so behind DeChambeau off the tee, but the German has all the precision of a finely engineered BMW and with two Green Jackets to his name (for winning The Masters), he knows how to negotiate his way round the treacherous old course. He’s become the oldest player to make the cut at The Masters at the age of 63; he’s defying gravity. He was one of the Big 5 on the European Tour back in the ’70s, 80s and 90s. Of those, Seve Ballesteros died tragically young, Sandy Lyle and Ian Woosnam still play seniors golf, but with little success and Nick Faldo has long been a respected voice in the Commentary Booth, as they like to call it in America. (Although as they call them “announcers” over there, shouldn’t it be the Announcers Booth?). For 13 years Langer has been breaking all records on the Champions Tour (for the over 50s) and shows no sign of heading for the 19th hole. Meanwhile, I can’t say I’m sorry for Bryson DeC. I don’t know him well but his brash arrogance was always tempting fate and golf can be a supremely humbling game.
Talking of BMW’s precision, it was mildly satisfying to learn that even German excellence can take a tumble occasionally. A friend has recently bought a brand new, all singing, all dancing 5 series BMW (strictly speaking I don’t think it’s vocals are great and the footwork is distinctly dodgy but you get my drift hopefully), of which he is justifiably proud. However, within days of taking delivery of it, it’s back with the dealer to have an electronic fault fixed that caused all the instrumentation to go blank. They think it needs a whole new dashboard…..oops, expensive.
Finally back to Leaf. He sent me a photo of very clever giant plastic scoops with long handles that strap onto your arms, so that in one swift movement you can gather a large quantity of leaves and transfer them either into a barrow or take them straight to the tip. They’re not quite the magic wand I was hoping for but they’re certainly a big step in the right direction. Thanks Mouldy…..fancy giving me a demo?
ADayInTheStrifeOf 