V Day +1. The day after the vaccine that will save the world was launched in Britain. As the lead story on the BBC News at Ten told us last night, ninety year old Margaret Keenan was the first person on the planet to be injected, other than the thousands who had been involved in the trial. This was indeed heady stuff. Huw Edwards gazed at us with that Welsh intensity that is appropriate for funerals, but otherwise shows all the humour of a hanging judge, to ensure that we realised the huge significance of this moment. He handed over to Hugh Pym, one of the health correspondents who has become a nightly fixture on our screens, to take us through every fascinating second of this epoch making moment. Margaret was shown in all her wheelchair glory, undergoing the rare experience of having a syringe inserted into her upper arm. She survived this intrusion without a wince, brave lady. Afterwards she very graciously consented to be interviewed by the Pymster. His first question was straight out of the junior sports reporters list of things not to ask; “How does it feel?”. “Oh it’s fine, I feel very well thanks”, replied the nonagenarian. As if there was a chance the vaccine might have instantly floored her, or left her in a twitching, jabbering heap. But the next question was a stroke of genius. “Would you recommend other people to have it?”. So here is the very experienced BBC Health Correspondent asking a ninety year old lady in a wheelchair (who admittedly seemed to be in full possession of her marbles) whether, will all her enormous medical, scientific and research experience, it is something that the wider population ought to be doing? Surprise, surprise, she said “oh yes, I’d recommend everyone to have it”. I was immediately convinced of its efficacy and am now impatient to undergo the procedure myself. Who knows perhaps I might even be interviewed by a cub reporter from BBC Radio Sussex, anxious to know if I felt any instant side-effects. But wait. The headline on V +1 is that two NHS staff members have suffered a severe allergic reaction. Oh dear, that wasn’t in the Master Plan. But it appears that they both suffer from severe allergic reactions to getting out of bed in the morning. No cause for concern then.
The good news, for people who find the constant updating on the number of “deaths” etc mildly tedious, is that Brexit is now so imminent it’s fought it’s way back into the bulletins, even if it has to wait for the full, fascinating story of the day’s Covidity to play out. It’s amazing that Noel Edmonds hasn’t been called in to adjudicate on the final salvos of Deal/No Deal. Instead it’s being left to Bojo and a very elegant Presidential lady from the EU to have dinner in Brussels to decide if there’s any point in negotiating further. I can understand why. If you’ve never eaten out in Brussels you should. The Belgiums are exceptionally good at football and not bad at cycling, but their main claim to fame has to be their haute cuisine. Where I was based with the Army in Germany in the early eighties there was a Belgium Officers Club which we had access to. Dining there was a truly memorable experience. Will Boris therefore be so intoxicated by the convivial surroundings that he gives away the family silver? We won’t have long to find out. I confess my nails are already down to the quick with all the excitement and drama.
Personally, as I’m suffering a severe allergic reaction to BBC News bulletins, I definitely won’t be risking a needle in the arm, hoping instead for my Iodine Salt Pipe and copious quantities of Vitamins C and D to provide natural protection against all invaders.
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